When you have ADHD, it's not a cookie-cutter experience. Outside of ADHDers falling into 3 categories according to the DSM (Hyper, Inattentive, and Combined), there are other ways that people with ADHD can vary greatly from each other. I like to think of ADHDers having their symptoms on one of the old sound-booth sliders, like in a recording studio and each of the executive functions is their own slider. So even though my son has a lot of struggles with emotional regulation, he doesn't have the same level of working memory problems that I struggle with. I also don't struggle with emotional regulation in the same way he does. Sometimes it leads to confusion, even within the ADHD community itself on whether ADHD is the cause of undesirable behavior and whether some techniques work well or not. Everyone's flavor is a bit different, and yet there is SOME pattern to it all.
Lately, I've been struggling with my son's emotional regulation and how to help him. (To know how this shows up in G, check out my Parenting is Hard post.) What makes it especially difficult is that most of his problems happen when I'm NOT with him, but I got a small ray of hope yesterday.